All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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