Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
