I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize