Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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