school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
