hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
