That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
