Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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