So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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