South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize