My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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