How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
