Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
