I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize