Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
