The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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