Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
