I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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