I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
