somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
