Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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