OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
