it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
