The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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