how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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