Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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