...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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