we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
