flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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