You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
