So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
