just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
So. Much. Porn.
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