the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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