Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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