And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
