for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
