DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
