the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize