I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
