Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
