Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
