we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
