I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
