If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
