used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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