I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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