bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize