Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
