do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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