I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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