the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
