i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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