he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
