So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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