i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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