so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
