did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
