I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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