these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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