Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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