with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
