so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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